See You In You Tube (Hong Kong 2008)

"Would you choose love or friendship?"

In the movie See You In You Tube (愛鬥大), yes, that's really what it's called, that question does indeed get answered. Add together a series of wacky hijinks, mix well with one hand-held shooting experience (camera) and you'll get to the see the full effect of a trend that is putting the world of cinema into a choke hold. Who wouldn't want to see what comes of all this?

Janice (Janice Man) and Ling (Elanne Kong), are best of friends and have been since they were little girls. They compete in everything from school grades to popularity. Him (Law Chung-Him), is a buff film student that can't seem to get enough money for one reason or another. Janice first meets Him on the bus where she witnesses Him pickpocket one of the passengers. Later on, Ling becomes one of his victims. She gives chase and follows him into an alley only to end up being saved by Him when a gang member attacks her. After that, and the girls don't seem to care, but instead see that the VERY same guy, that victimized Ling and that Janice caught in the act of pickpocketing mind you, has a video club that can teach you how to make movies. So now the girls decide to show up to his makeshift class, both with their tag-along boyfriends that are whipped beyond belief. There are also a rag-tag collection of other cardboard cut outs. After Him and his buddy get the group hanging on to their every word after a few meetings, Him notices that these girls have a very competitive streak between them. So he makes them split into two teams and participate in a game where the teams have to do outlandish things to win points.

Challenges such as, sing the Happy Birthday song at a Triad members funeral and see how long it takes you to get beat up, or even a commercial jingle at the funeral of a child. A kung-fu fight with random produce. How about going into a jewelry store in a ski mask with a fake AK-47 to buy a necklace? HA! Now that's a knee-slapper! (For those who don't know, these places are always guarded by a man with heavy firepower). There are more challenges for the two teams to go through, but which team will end up the winners?

To say that See You In You Tube (God, I hate the title), is a terrible movie is nothing but the whole-hearted truth and even that's being nice. I don't care that Oxide Pang produced this film and that there were seven directors (four of them students). Hell, that would explain why nothing in the story made any since or happened for a reason. For example, why would these kids even consider risking their lives or the safety of others for no clear reason? Never explained. They use this black and white, documentary-style of filming the interviews taking place at random with various characters of the group and it really doesn't change anything for me. At that point, it's too late and it's not like I'm going to be relating to these kids. I had to research the cast to see if any of them had worked prior to this because I don't think any of them had ever seen a video camera before. It was that bad. Most of the time the movie tried to keep that "shaky" camera feel, but only sometimes. Mainly when it was convenient for them which comes off as inconsistent. I'm sure they were just trying to give it an authentic feel, but really it was just annoying. Oddly enough, they did stick to a theme, but unfortunately it was the, "annoy the viewer" theme. What could be mistaken as a high-energy romp with a good time to be had by all, ended up as a movie with a questionable running time of nearly two hours in which I was done with after fifteen minutes. In short, there is no way I can recommend this train-wreck of a movie, unless you're a fourteen year old girl that feels the exact way the two leads in this movie do. In that case, I do believe See You In You Tube was made solely for you and you alone, and for that I'm truly sorry. (CBKevin)

Eat The School Girl: Osaka Telephone Club (Japan 1997)

"Dear Diary, I just killed someone today."

One part pink-cinema, one part avant-garde, and one part college film project. Eat the School Girl (コギャル喰い　大阪テレクラ篇) seems to be more out to "shock" the audience than entertain them, but oddly enough, it doesn't appear to do either.

On the busy streets of Tokyo, Japan, two young guys work for a small-time gang of thugs pushing sex fliers and tapes. One is a sex-crazy, wired-up neurotic, and the other (our main protagonist), is a solemn, lonely time-bomb of a man that is addicted to phone sex. After calling his favorite operator and enjoying some "me time", he's off to handing out fliers with a special "idol-ish" girl on it and selling some sex tapes. The two return to their bosses hangout to receive change from their sales and end up getting a peek into the seedy underworld that's making these hardcore pornos. The gang is basically kidnapping random girls off the street and film the debauchery themselves. The two are chased off to resume selling the tapes and as the day comes to an end, the two go their separate ways. Neurotic hits the streets and tries to pick up various women while the Protagonist goes home to place that certain phone call. However, when he gets home, he's greeted by a naked woman that just happens to look like the one from the flier. She boldly proclaims that she is all for him and that he may do as he wishes. He gets so worked up and frustrated that he leaves and heads back to the streets dressed as a schoolgirl and kills a man in a tunnel with a box cutter. Then we see him "climax" on the body, all while trying to regress the memories of seeing his family brutally murdered in front of him as a child. When he finally realizes what he's done, he run off into the night.

There's more that I could add that takes place in Eat The School Girl, but it all seems pretty pretentious and just seems to be trying to hard to "shock" us. For a film with a running time of only an hour, it all becomes "old hat" and just comes across as a total yawn by the end. The acting is incredibly campy and difficult to watch. The gorilla-style shooting style on the streets got annoying in the first five minutes, but the real bad guy here is the story. The story keeps this, "leave it all up the viewer to decide what's happening", way of things. Was there a girl on the other end of the phone? Is she an angel telling me I need to kill someone to climax in order to be free? This smug and vain way of story-telling is spotty and there's not enough substance to captivate and makes you want to ask the previously mentioned questions. In the end however, you simply just won't care. All is not lost however, as some people may enjoy this for the gore, the simulated rape scenes, or for the so-called "shock" factor. Maybe I've become desensitized over the years, but you'll have to excuse this horror-veteran (Japanese or other-wise), when I say that you'll simply have to do better than this. Naoyuki Tomomatsu missed the mark big time with Stacy and Eat The School Girl on all accounts. So here's hoping that Zombie Self-Defense Force turns out better than his previous work, but I doubt it. (CBKevin)

Yo-Yo Girl Cop (Japan 2006)

In Yo-Yo Girl Cop (スケバン刑事 コードネーム=麻宮サキ), K (Aya Matsuura), is a hard-ass teenager living in New York with her mother, who also happens to be the original Yo-Yo Girl Cop. After running away from home, K manages to get arrested by the local police. A Japanese cop by the name of Kazutoshi Kira (Riki Takeuchi), offers her a deal and explains that Asamiya Saki is a fake name handed down to a large line of delinquent teenage girls, all of whom have been recruited by the authorities to return to Japan and help stop a website named "Enola Gay". The website has been teaching high school students how to build bombs and commit suicide. Now, time is the enemy as the website has begun displaying a countdown, and no one seems to know what it's counting down to! When K enters the school, she soon finds out that disorder is the norm, with students getting bullied and abused, and the teachers just don't seem to care. Reika (Rika Ishikawa), is the number one girl in the school and she knows it. K and Reika clash every chance they get, making things worse for K as she struggles to find the source of the website and the mystery behind it's countdown. Between sticking up for the weak, and trying to stop explosions and suicide bombers, will K find those responsible for the "Enola Gay" site and stop them in time?

Yo-Yo Girl Cop (the original Japanese title is "Sukeban Deka: Code Name Asamiya Saki), is based off the hugely successful manga in Japan created by Shinji Wada. The series has spawned an anime series, OVA, as well as multiple films. This rendition of Sukeban Deka is brought to us by Kenta Fukasaku, the director of Battle Royale 2. While not being familiar with the source material, I didn't know what to expect from a yo-yo wielding cop played by a pop-star. The story is simple enough, although it does seem to have a little too much going on resulting in a lot of things being over-looked, such as the kids being bullied, the fights, and the fact that there are bomb-making supplies everywhere. The girls are all attractive and they play their parts well, and I must say that I loved Riki Takeuchi in this film. The action scenes are nicely done, with a few CG scenes thrown in for good measure. However, there is something about the finished product that comes across as rather bland. It's hard to get excited over the film's lead, and it never really reaches the peak of being an all-around good action movie. If you're already of fan of the Sukeban Deka series, than Yo-Yo Girl Cop is definitely for you, but in deciding if it's a film for everyone, I'd have to regretfully say no. (CBKevin)

Art of Fighting (Korea 2006)

Art Of Fighting (싸움의 기술) follows a young man, Byung Tae (Hyun-kyoon Lee), whom due to his lacking grades, is forced into enrolling at a vocational school by his police-detective father. Once there, the shy and quiet Byung finds a slew of bullies waiting to make an example out of him every chance they get. Between keeping to himself and being fearful of venturing out, Byung seeks the advice of his elders, as well as referencing books in order to help him with his bully predicament. Sadly, he comes up empty-handed. Byung then meets a strange man named Oh Pan-su (Baek Yoon-sik), who is staying in room B, a special room in the Daemyeong reading room. Pan-Su is a gruff and street-wise man who has the scars to prove he's led an exciting life. The only thing that keeps him hanging around is the fact that he's waiting to receive a fake passport from some gangster types so he can leave town. Byung asks Pan-su to teach him how to fight, and after multiple rejections, Pan-Su finally agrees. The two slowly begin to form a bond and learn from each other.

Art of Fighting is a film that doesn't tread any new ground, but with the performances from its two leads, you won't even mind. The story is very streamlined and is void of any sub-plots that could hurt the relationship of the leads. It keeps a humorous tone, though the training does get a little dramatic at times. However, that only helps keep the dynamic of the story, as well as keeping the characters strong and engaging. I will admit, their is even a part where I was cheering out loud at my screen, because it does become that fun to watch. Plus, the choreographed fight scenes are done very well, and they maintain a nice "street-fighting" feel so you don't have to worry about the wire-fu. It's really hard for me to not like Art of Fighting and I'm very excited to see what Shin Han-Sol, the writer and first time director, has in store for us the second time around! (CBKevin)